Reflections On Mother's Day

by Dr. Thomas Lane Butts
 
Last Sunday was Mother's Day, a time in which our minds turn instinctively to the person from whom we first received love.  How we received love from that primary parent during the first few years still colors our lives, and always will. " A mother's love is like God's love.  God loves us not because we are loveable, but because it is His nature to love, and because we are His children." (Earl Riney)
 
For many, the nostalgia of Mother's Day puts us in touch with a primal emotion that we may not have felt since the last time our mother hugged us.  It feels good to be sentimental, and perhaps we need to be in touch with those feelings more often.  It has a way of softening some of the crusty cynicism that tends to accumulate in life like barnacles on the hull of a ship.  And God knows we could do with fewer barnacles.
 
Most of us have conscious memories of how we were nurtured by our mothers which go back to the earliest days of our lives.  I dare say that we likely have as many subconscious impressions as we do conscious memories.  Some say those subconscious memories even go back to a time before we were born.  That is an interesting thought!!  We do know that the content of our subconscious mind has a profound influence in our lives.
 
We can all dig up memories of how we were cared for by our mothers when we were hurt - physically or emotionally.  Fathers tend to gloss over the cuts, bruises and disappointments of children by urging them to "buck up and be strong - don't cry - play hurt -  it will be all right by tomorrow - it happens to everybody".  Not so with mothers!!  Mothers tend to hug hurt children, kiss the boo-boo and say soft and soothing words.  For this reason, mother is the one to whom you hurry when you are in trouble.  How we were nurtured and cared for as children, especially when we were hurt, leaves a profound conscious and unconscious impression.  I have been told by soldiers who have experienced combat that wounded and dying soldiers often cry out for their mothers.  On several occasions I have been at the bedside of elderly people whose last words when they were dying were for their mother.  That is how deep the influence runs.  In the throes of distress and death, our minds go back to that earliest care giver.
 
Mothers have a powerful influence on the lives of their children which tends to continue undiminished down to the end of life.  Henry W. Longfellow reminded us that even as the Lord Jesus was dying on the cross,  "...in that last hour of unutterable agony of death, he was mindful of his mother, as if to teach us that this holy love should be our last worldly thought -- the last point of earth from which the soul should take its flight for heaven." 
 
Since no parent is perfect, it follows that all parents make parenting mistakes.  Those mistakes also constitute a powerful influence on children.  Most of the marriage problems that come into the counseling rooms of pastors and psychologists have roots that go back to the family of origin.   Some parents do untold emotional damage to their children in unspeakable ways.  Child abuse can, and does, happen in many ways.  Children tend to survive and overcome the occasional and unintentional mistakes of parents.  It is the constant repetition of the same mistake that does irreparable emotional damage.
 
All parents should remember that, for better or for worse, our children are forever influenced by what we did or did not do when they were young.  That should make all parents of young children determined to be careful, intentional and loving with their children.